The political genius that is so often displayed by our entertainment figures took another turn for the ridiculous a couple of days ago as Cardi B, a low rent chanteuse who I will admit to never hearing of before, decided to let us all in on her measured eloquence on the subject of law and order and the president. To wit:
“Every time I see a black man killed or mistreated by police I just keep saying ‘Do nobody give a f—? Does nobody care? And I’ve stopped saying that because nobody do care. Nobody cares. He don’t care.”
Where to begin?
First off, given the double negatives in her babbling screed it’s hard to tell where she stands concerning apathy in response to charges of supposed police physical malfeasance. I’ll take a wild guess and posit she’s against it. Second, she seems to have confused the president of the United States with a municipal police commissioner. Note to Cardi in phraseology she may ken: Trump be not no po-lice. He living in the DC place and that sh**. Third, the woman by her own words is showcased as a base bumpkin, a cacophonous churl, an intellectually slovenly illiterate.
Now, you may be saying…How dare you! She’s a woman of color and thus immune from criticism! She is also one of our royal class of athletes and entertainers and thus a lowly scribe like you may not deign to trifle with her! Begone impious wordsmith!
Well now, about the color thing. I could give a rodent’s rump about what color she is or isn’t. And if you want to play that game, as a guy of Latin, South American Indian, and African heritage (at least according to 23andMe) I sport the holy trifecta of DNA that well qualifies me as a USDA-approved minority. And guess what, Cardi dear? I speak the King’s English and the best thing that happened to my West African ancestors, though granted not so evident as it was happening, is that they got a free cruise to our shores because of the gross lethargy and hideous morals of the Southern cavalier aristocracy.
Yeah, I’d say the South Florida beach scene I grew up in had serious advantages over the surfside environments of my Dark Continent forbearers. The main one being tourist girls. Also in the mix were little things like liberty, security, freedom of expression and so on.
But that doesn’t matter to Cardi, primarily because our founding documents weren’t written in Cretin and are therefore indecipherable to her. She trucks in another idiom. One that prefers vulgarity to clarity, gnarled blather over logic, and race-hustling Instagram posts over literate comment on issues.
For which in a way we can be thankful. Because every time she or one of her fellow chuffed up carnies opens their traps another voter backs the president. They do so if only to spare us the alternatives, both political and grammatical.