At least they were more polished than Wednesday night but sadly weren’t as unintentionally amusing. At any rate, the ten who took the stage in Miami did share certain traits. They all loathe the president, hate pharmaceutical and insurance companies, are oblivious to government greed, and think guns have the power of independent thought and action and thus solely cause murders.
They also disagree with the American people on immigration and belong to a party that spent much of the Cold War sucking up to Soviets, only now to discover Russian perfidy forty years too late.
Just as it was Wednesday night, they are so out of the mainstream, especially on immigration, that if they don’t change their tune the president will trounce them soundly.
However, only one seemed batguano crazy. Only one had a droopy eye. Another sounded congested. One guy talked like he was on cocaine. And one would have been better auditioning not for president, but for a guest shot on the first season of “Three’s Company.”
Quick takeaway? Harris won. She was aggressive, had the most crowd applause lines, nailed Biden from the left, and clearly bested her opponents. Biden held his own but came across as past his shelf life and stuttered a lot, which might soon make him “Stuttering Joe” to the president. The others ranged from pathetic to tedious.
Here they are in descending order one to ten, best to worst:
1) Harris- She used the camera like a pro. In fact, when you think of how she initially got into public office she’s a “pro” in many ways. Good line on “food fight” and made points with the dumb crowd by dropping her gs. She played the black card and female card to great advantage, race-hustling the rest and Biden specifically on busing.
Dared to criticize Obama on deportations to get at Joe. She stole Inslee’s line on Trump being “the greatest threat to American security,” which went over nicely to the assorted communists in the audience. Harris was cringingly anecdotal, which fared well with a fan base made up of people with the brainpower of woodchucks.
She had a breakout moment last night that may not last. But as a black female from a big Dem state, all factors in her favor with this racist and sexist party, Dems must be looking at her now as a top tier player. The rumors she was wearing dominatrix gear under her black suit are mostly unfounded.
2) Biden- Got bloodied but not hurt and retains his status as the frontrunner. Though Dems are thinking today that he was slow and sometimes befuddled. This will hurt him six months from now, as he is not going to get any younger. He spluttered out his responses numerous times and stooped so low he tried to use the horrific car crash deaths of his family decades ago to make himself seem pitiable. Name dropped Obama at every opportunity.
He inadvertently, probably, defended the NRA and bizarrely at the end, after two hours of tacking hard-left, blessed “the troops.” Biden claimed Trump has “ripped out the soul” of America and, one would guess by the transitive property, Americans. Weirdly, my dark twisted soul still seems to be intact. Oh yeah, I got the “political writer” waiver on that.
Joe’s face seemed pinched, his hair plugs receding. His whole performance was like your grandfather trying to sing along to a rap song but occasionally lapsing into incomprehensible gibberish. But his name and machine keep him top dog.
3) Buttigieg- The small town mayor used his first sentence to mention his husband, in case you forgot he was gay. Had the chutzpah to bring up God, thought not Leviticus, in front of a Dem audience comprised of Baal worshippers and Unitarians.
Called cops racist and only shot Swalwell a passing dirty look when the CA congressman tried to advise Pete to fire the South Bend, IN, police chief over the recent shooting of a black suspect by a police officer. The matter is under investigation. Hizzoner’s soft quiet response to Swalwell’s provocation will only remind blacks, a vital if starting to think twice Dem constituency, to further think of Buttigieg as a weak little hayseed.
Though it wouldn’t be fair if he didn’t get kudos on one thing. He was the only person there who brought up the harrowing Chicom social credit system.
The former Rhodes Scholar lied his ass off, as did the rest, on immigration, though was articulate on other questions per the low Dem standard for such. No major gaffes. No major wins. Stasis for him, barely still sitting with the grownups.
4) Bernie- Needed to shine to nip the Warren boomlet in the bud. He didn’t do that and Liz will benefit. Though he made no big mistakes last night. Hickenlooper, Swalwell, and Bennet came after him, Hick the hardest. Bernie just scowled. He came across as a hard-of-hearing commie codger who is seriously upset because the nursing home is serving the wrong flavor of pudding for dessert.
He trotted out the 10-12 year doomsday scenario on the climate hoax popular this year and thinks if, like in the scruffy 60s, foul-smelling unemployed ragamuffins take to the streets all will be well. At one point lauded the UN. Not running for president, merely likes the sound of his own voice. Has a dwindling, if still semi-substantial, Dem following.
5) Gillibrand- Has the ice queen routine down flat. Was loud and aggressive. Had some applause lines but did not ooze warmth or charisma. Makeup way too pale, making her look like the victim of a blood transfusion gone horribly awry. Earrings distracting. Talked about “moral fabric” in front of “Dems.” Ha!
Is obsessed with public financing of campaigns, which amounts to welfare for politicians and their staffs. Says Trump is “hell bent” on war with Iran. Must be why the president carpet bombed that Iranian naval base in response to the drone shoot down. No, wait…
6) Bennet- Sounded like he had a nasal cold or like Rudolph the Reindeer did in the Rankin-Bass cartoon before his nose covering fell off. Seemed very low-key. Never smiled. Tried to shoehorn the Holocaust in on the immigration issue and kindly told us of his prostate problems. Will be out by the fall.
7) Yang- Thought no tie would make him look young. Oh, it did. About like an eight-year-old. Babbled as if he was on primo nose candy and spoke of his Universal Basic Income scheme. No one cared about it or him.
8) Hickenlooper- Poor Hick, tried to warn them over socialism, like Ryan and Delaney last night. As the Dems are now a de facto socialist party, it was preaching chastity in a cut-rate whorehouse. Used the governor card to no avail.
9) Swalwell- Talked of “passing the torch” to a new generation, which he stole from John Kennedy. Not the good John Kennedy from Louisiana. The mobbed-up drug addict one from Massachusetts. If Swalwell was president he said he would confiscate guns. That would be fun to watch in places like Texas and Idaho. Has a creepy eye defect that makes him look like one of the Seven Dwarves, probably Sleepy.
10) Williamson- A loony new-age self-help guru who sports a 70s-era coiffure, speaks with a lisp that recalls Madeline Kahn’s Lili Von Shtupp in “Blazing Saddles,” and whose likely biggest wish is that her imaginary friends could vote. Then, she’d win the presidency in a landslide.
I mean, this chick is barking mad, a general in the Barmy Army. Only line that was funnier than disturbing is that she would deal with Donald Trump by “love.” Now while the president has in former days been a playboy of note, something tells me he’d pass on that.
If she doesn’t make the poll numbers for the next debate she can still hang around her fellow candidates and align their chakras.
That’s the brief.
Both nights outcome? Warren way up, Bernie down. Harris up. Biden holds but could slip if he doesn’t start to come across as more coherent and vigorous. For the majority of the rest it’s a wash. A couple will be gone by Labor Day, a couple more at least by the holidays, as the proper Spencerian cycle takes its unremitting toll.
As it stands now, which is very early, not a one of them could beat the president.
P.S.-Thanks again to Cody Benson for the video feed and to my Florida Female Focus Group for their wise counsel.