Alice in Liberality

There was a land called Liberality
Who touted their own kind of morality
Pronouncements were shrill
Water flowed uphill
And spewed their own kind of banality

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat. “We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” asked Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Alice awoke from a deep sleep to find herself in the land of Liberality, where the Looney Left lived free from the bonds of practicality. As she ventures forth, she is joined by a group of little people who serve as tour guides. She introduces herself to Lizzy the Witch, Joey Besmircher, Bernard Sandals, Camel Humprey, and Be To Tall who is standing on a table with legs that walk.

Alice wondered: “What is this place?” Joey replied, “Let me show you around.” They soon came to a long, low, ugly building and Joey explained: “This is where we are doing the detailed planning for what the United States will be like after the next election.” As they came to the first door, Alice was told that this is the office of immigration. “The problem has been blown way out of proportion by Republicans, so we’re going to shut them up by putting polling booths throughout Mexico and Latin America. Our voters won’t need to make the long trek across the Rio Grande to vote for us, which will save George Soros a pile of dough.”

“But won’t they come for jobs and a better life?” queried Alice with a puzzled look. “By the time we implement our globalist agenda, you won’t be able to tell the U.S. from any other third-world country,” Joey said boastfully. “I have a meeting scheduled, so I’m asking Lizzy to show you the child-care office,” he added.

Lizzy said that since the Republicans have made such a stink about abortion, they decided they should settle it once and for all and went on to explain: “Allowing a doctor to deliver a live birth and then leaving it up to the mother to decide whether to keep it is putting an undue strain on a woman who has been through such a physically stressful experience. It would be fairer to allow her to take it home for six weeks and return it to the hospital for disposal if motherhood was too demanding. After all, there are many products for sale which allow this kind of ‘no sweat’ trial period. And besides, what really is the difference if termination takes place six weeks after conception or six weeks after birth?”

The next stop was The Office of Climatology where Bernard Sandals took over the narration. “We found out that we were dead wrong on the issue of climate change, but the people were so deprived that we will continue with beef and gas rationing rather than conjure up an excuse for our mistake. Besides, after the next election, we won’t need it anymore.

The Office of Student Affairs found Camel Humprey concluding a meeting just in time to greet Alice with a smile, a cheery hello and a “let me show you around.” She went on to explain crushing student debt was such a problem, combined with so much of what they are taught is useless when it comes to finding a job; it is appropriate to pay students a salary while going to college. If they can’t find a job within ten years of graduation, they will go on social security.

Bewildered and dazed, Alice was on her way to the exit of Liberality when she was stopped by Be To Tall wearing a lab coat and stethoscope, who insisted on taking her blood pressure. He explained that they were preparing for Medicare for all by taking everyone’s blood pressure once a day.

Alice began to run in a state of high agitation when she awoke in a cold sweat, as pale as the sheets upon which she slept. Not even bothering to brush her teeth, she threw on some clothes and raced to the courthouse to register to vote.

The opinions expressed here by contributors are their own and are not the view of OpsLens which seeks to provide a platform for experience-driven commentary on today's trending headlines in the U.S. and around the world. Have a different opinion or something more to add on this topic? Contact us for guidelines on submitting your own experience-driven commentary.
Wayne McLaughlin

Wayne McLaughlin is an OpsLens Contributor and US Army Veteran.

Join the conversation!

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse.

Watch The Drew Berquist Show

Everywhere, at home or on the go.