We’re confused. It was so simple when Mazie Hirono explained it. “Not only do women like Dr. Ford, who bravely comes [sic] forward, need to be heard, but they need to be believed. They need to be believed,” Hirono said.
“Women like Dr. Ford.” Does that mean women who come forward bravely to accuse prominent men of misconduct? It didn’t seem to apply to the women who had accused Bill Clinton of forcible rape, forcible sexual assault, opportunistic groping, forced kissing, and unwanted sexual touching. They were neither believed nor encouraged to come forward.
Bimbo Eruptions and Trailer Parks
Hillary Clinton set up a special campaign task force to handle “bimbo eruptions.” James Carville, Clinton’s campaign manager, famously discredited Paula Jones by saying, “Drag a hundred-dollar bill through a trailer park, you never know what you’ll find.” Clinton eventually settled with Paula Jones for nearly a million dollars and was disbarred for perjury, but Paula’s reputation was damaged forever. Hollywood, media and Democrat elites still chuckle at how clever Carville was.
But that was all in the 1990s. Now is a different time. We believe women now. Except we don’t. We still don’t believe them all. At least we’re told we ought not to.
The Stanford Professor and the Lt. Governor
May we believe Dr. Vanessa Tyson? Is she like Dr. Ford? She came forward, bravely, to accuse Virginia Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax of forcible rape. She is a staunch Democrat party member. She’s also a Stanford professor. Does that make her believable? Evidently not, because other than Gayle King, no major media outlet has published her accusations, and none has called for Fairfax to step down.
No media outlet has hounded Lt. Gov. Fairfax at his office or home to ask him persistently about Tyson’s accusations. A second accuser, Meredith Watson, came forward –bravely– to say Fairfax had done the same thing to her. She said, weeping, that she wished she had spoken out earlier, because then maybe Fairfax would have been stopped before he could assault Dr. Tyson.
May we believe Ms. Watson? Evidently not. Senator Hirono was not available for comment. Neither were any of the Democrat presidential candidates.
We’re even more confused now. What about Karen Monahan, who came forward –bravely again– to accuse congressman and DNC Chairman Keith Ellison of brutally beating and sexually assaulting her. I believe Amy Alexander also came forward, accusing Ellison of similar behavior.
Unfortunately for those two women, they too were not to be believed. The voters of Minnesota didn’t believe them, because Ellison is now the chief law enforcement officer of the entire state: the attorney general. His accusers had better always have a witness with them, in case they are accused of violating a state law–they already know they won’t be believed.
Creepy Uncle Joe
Now former Vice President Joe Biden has been accused of creepy behavior by two women, Lucy Sanchez and Amy Lappos. Once again, although their coming forward seemed brave to us, it has been decreed that we don’t believe them. Or, at least, we discount their experience as trivial. Nancy Pelosi, Mika Brzezinski, even the priestesses of Isis on “The View,” have reviewed Joe Biden and pronounced him clean.
He is “what we would have called ‘a little overly familiar,’” said High Priestess Whoopi Goldberg. Abby Huntsman questioned the motive and political connections of Lucy Sanchez, a Bernie supporter and therefore suspect. Goldberg proclaimed she would be angry if Biden stopped: “I don’t want Joe to stop doing that.” Meghan McCain agreed. Maybe if you’re famous, they’ll let you be a little overly familiar. (Look up “Creepy Joe Biden” images.)
So we get it now. Women must be heard, and must also be believed. All women. Except Vanessa Tyson, Meredith Watson, Karen Monahan, Amy Alexander, Lucy Sanchez, and Amy Lappos.* I just wish I could figure out what they all have in common.
*Author’s note: Please check back later, as this list may need to be updated.