We usually think of Australia as a land of beaches, kangaroos, and Olivia Newton John. At least I do. Aussie leaders? Rugged drinkers with guts and smilingly tough demeanors. Alright, I’m describing them as Crocodile Dundee. Which highlights my unfortunate tendencies toward stereotyping, or as I prefer to call it, intellectual shorthand. Hey, at least with these blokes it’s a positive stereotype.
But we may add a further description of their honchos if, after the May 18th election, Trump critic Bill Shorten of the Labor Party becomes the new prime minister. That new portrayal could be of another member of the sad litany of global leftist leaders, many like Shorten whose nation benefits from our security umbrella, who feel duty-bound to oppose the president of the United States. Plus, Shorten has the forehead of a Talosian.
Your usual left-wing robot, he was a red diaper baby, has a union thug background, watermelon communist outlook, and has the political integrity of Iago on a bad day. Think a lefty Michael Gove of a faculty lounge port-side mindset.
An Aussie friend who is a keen analyst of their political scene, and a man who I’ve known personally and professionally for over thirty years, describes Shorten thus: “As bad as they get. Imagine a vicious Joe Biden…While head of a major union, Shorten negotiated lower pay for his union members with employers in exchange for the employers giving his union lots of money. He has been accused of rape but not tried due to the alleged rape occurring in the 80s. He also knifed two former prime ministers, Gillard and Rudd. I normally vote Labor but there is no way in hell I’d vote for this [Aussie expletive that women tell me sounds cute when Aussie men say it but horrific when American men say it].”
He has termed the views of the president as “barking mad” and Trump’s election win “the ultimate victory of celebrity politics.” He wants his nation to pursue “equality” and we know that means government mandated economic and cultural coercion that will ultimately be enforced by legal or literal bayonets. Granted, Shorten has said he can work with whoever leads America.
He’s up against conservative Prime Minister Scott Morrison of the Liberal Party. Morrison is a solid U.S. ally and no detractor of the president. But the current PM goes into the contest down on points. He’s been in office less than a year and leads a party and government divided by ambition and a revolving door of Liberal Party leaders that brought Morrison to power in the first place.
Let’s hope the Aussies like underdogs as much as we do or what they’re gonna throw on the barbie could be their economy and good relations with their most important ally.
The worst aspect of it for me? It could visibly upset Olivia Newton John.