Ridicule Rains Down on Bolsonaro

I think I’ve written over a hundred pieces for OpsLens. Out of all of them, this has the most potential for bad puns, prurient word play, and sophomoric jokes. I will try to resist the temptation. I will do a piss poor job of it.

When Brazilians were recovering from Fat Tuesday yesterday one subject may have been cascading through their otherwise faith-based focus. The matter at hand was that, in a criticism of the pre-Lenten Carnival festival, their president Jair Bolsonaro posted a tweet of…well…um…of guys urinating on each other at the event. In what is almost humanly impossible, it gets worse.

He then followed it up with another tweet inquiring as to the definition of a “golden shower.” I did not make that up. Really, I didn’t.

His ostensible point was that Carnival has gotten so out of hand that pervy displays like the one he posted are normal fare these days and something should be done about it. Given the history of debauchery during the shindig, his words should be taken as water under the bridge.

However, the immediate criticism was torrential.

One Brazilian newsie told the conservative firebrand president to get “medical help urgently.” The opinion was not isolated. It’s like your Dad is trying to tell you about the birds and the bees when you’re eight years old, and then he pulls out hard core porn as an audio-visual aid.

Regardless of my flowing wit, what we’re seeing here is the disconnect between hard-line social conservatives and other parts of the movement. It’s not as if the rest of us right-wing reprobates indulge in romantic water sports. Gross. Yet neither would we circumspect albeit fun-loving starboardists opine about it one way or another. It’s mortifying, weird, and the very comment is itself pervy. If you want to discourage inappropriate practices during the street soirees, fine. But at least don’t creep everybody out when you’re doing it. In their dour cultural ardor, awkward brigade conservatives can at times do just that when they broach specific subjects best left to the Marianas-like trenches of smut.

Certain dams are not meant to be breached, lest the briny liquid of unintentional comedy and party crashing come down on your head. The presidente is likely learning that today.

Someone get him a towel.

The opinions expressed here by contributors are their own and are not the view of OpsLens which seeks to provide a platform for experience-driven commentary on today's trending headlines in the U.S. and around the world. Have a different opinion or something more to add on this topic? Contact us for guidelines on submitting your own experience-driven commentary.
David Kamioner

A veteran of service with US Army Intelligence, the Pershing Nuclear Brigade, and the First Infantry Division, Kamioner is a graduate of the University of Maryland’s European Division and spent over twenty years as a political consultant, college instructor, non-profit director, and corporate PR director. He hails from New York City and grew up in South Florida. He served with the American Red Cross as part of the relief effort for Hurricanes Katrina and Rita in 2005 and Hurricane Sandy in 2012. For several years he ran homeless shelters, most recently homeless shelters for US military veterans. He currently is a Senior Contributor for OpsLens.com, a writer for American Greatness, and has been published in LifeZette. He is the author of the novel "Prisoner of the Chattering Class" and lives in Annapolis, Maryland.

Join the conversation!

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, vulgarity, profanity, all caps, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain a courteous and useful public environment where we can engage in reasonable discourse.

Watch The Drew Berquist Show

Everywhere, at home or on the go.