I was blissfully asleep in the wee hours of this morning, no doubt dreaming of some 80s-era pinup (I’m thinking Connie Sellecca), when both my Sky News and FNC phone alerts beeped as one.
The earth-shattering news?
Fresh from a Vanity Fair cover (photos by Annie Liebovitz, of course) where he megalomaniacally exclaimed “Man, I’m just born to be in it,” Robert Francis O’Rourke of Texas, about as white male as a white male can be in a party that claims to despise them but has a boatload running for the nation’s highest office, has decided to run for president. His quote also shows an interesting, if not demented, attachment to the hereditary principle in democratic politics. Hmmmmm.
The announcement cues the swoons from the twelve-year-old girl faction of the Democratic Party. Which means most of them.
What are Mr. O’Rourke’s great accomplishments that make him fit for the august office? Well, he was a congressman. And? And he got beaten in a statewide race. It seems the new Dem fashion, as Abrams of Georgia is thinking of running, is to lose for the Senate then run for president. It’s all the rage amongst the smart set!
But because there are an awful lot of very stupid people in this country, or any country, do not sell short this Latin-posing Son of Eire. These non-sentient citizens vote on image alone and Mr. O’Rourke’s visage makes their little hearts go pitter-patter. Actually, he isn’t horrible on the stump and by the Vanity Fair cover he will have Hollywood and pop culture support out the wazoo. That means oodles of cash and free press.
Is he probably running for veep? Yes. However, he could take off like another long shot did in 2008. Though at least that putz had successfully run for the Senate. Never underestimate, per Saints Barnum and Mencken, the ability of the public to work themselves into a frenzied fandom unconstrained by any notion of logic or fact. That goes quite more so for Democrats.
So expect to be hearing a lot from O’Rourke as he embarks on this odyssey. Sadly he will not be accompanied on the venture by Corporal Agarn or Captain Parmenter.
Both would probably make better presidents than this guy.