Robert Francis O’Rourke. You know, the extremely white politician with the Hispanic nickname. Right, that Beto. The guy who went toe-to-toe with Ted Cruz as the great left hope of the DNC, funded by massive out-of-state donations. The Beto campaign ultimately raised $80.3 million, compared to the Cruz campaign’s $38.9 million…and he still lost.
Leading up to the 2018 midterm elections, Beto was debating incumbent Senator Ted Cruz and was asked directly whether or not he had attempted to flee the scene of an accident that he had caused while driving drunk on his birthday in 1998. “I did not try to leave the scene of the accident, though driving drunk, which I did, is a terrible mistake for which there is no excuse or justification or defense, and I will not try to provide one.” However, the Houston Chronicle uncovered the actual police report, which does detail a narrative in which the affluent boarding school graduate was involved in a car accident that occurred while he was driving drunk; he then attempted to leave the scene, rather than face the consequences of his actions.
So you're saying it is bad to flee the scene in order to avoid justice and being held accountable for your crimes? https://t.co/XoLyM1fHlt
— Ʈ৸ę PªǷªĻ BµĻĻ🇻🇦 (@ShamelessPapist) November 21, 2018
The uncomfortable truth is that Beto’s entire appeal is centered on aesthetics and not on substance. For some reason, a man whose entire political history involves corruption and gentrification is now “progressive”? The only real discussion around O’Rourke for the 2020 Election should be a spirited debate over whether he is the Steve Buscemi “Fellow Kids” meme or Poochie from the eight season of “The Simpsons.” I propose that we begin pronouncing his name as if it rhymes with the word “veto,” because then the jokes will just write themselves.